Oh well…
It has been quite – what it feels like – a long
time since I’ve heard from you. Still you are on my mind and in my heart. And I
am only beginning now to understand how we’ve gotten to where we actually are.
But I want to start off with saying this: My
wish for you is your wish for you! And this is all that matters. Nothing more
and nothing less.
Life is about being who you really are, because
this is your road to your joy and happiness, your fulfillment. And while you
are on your journey, no one, not even I, has the right to judge your path.
However, when we are children we are confronted
with all these non-truths, e.g. you can’t be what you wish to be because this
does not bring food on your table. Eventually we start believing these things
and forget being who we really are.
The same is true in regards to relationships.
Oh so many times people enter a relationship or a marriage for the “wrong” reasons –
with intentions that go not hand in hand with being who you really are. We are
all unique beings having been given free will. It’s our birthright. Yet,
however, we do not always remember.
So it happens in our relationships that we tag
our love with conditions. The significant other needs to live up to certain
expectations. And subconsciously, there is an act of power. But love needs to
be free of any (such) conditions. We cannot force our will on someone else.
Others may even lose themselves just in order to please the other. Then they
are denying themselves, suppressing who they really are. Until they change their minds and no longer wish to be "ruled" by the other simply only living up to the other's expectations.
And conditions already start with promises and
the making of them…
Eventually, relationships and marriages fail
because one or both partners do not wish to be defined by these conditions any
longer. They wish to be who they really are. We should never give up on that
and our free will.
People enter relationships thinking about what
they can get out of it. But it is not up to the other to get you what you want.
It should be about the magic of giving because whenever you give you also
receive! Everything you give to another comes back to you multiplied.
There is only one person who can really give
you what you truly want, and this person is you! We are all the creators of our
own happiness. Our lives are our own designs.
Yes, it is beautiful to have companions, and it
should be our intention to give the other our deepest friendship and love in a
home, which is a place for growing and sharing, a place for laughter and music,
and a place for love.
Marriages should not come as an obligation but
rather provide opportunities for growth, self-expression, for lifting our lives
to their full potential.
Today we meet many people with these so-called
commitment issues. But I have come to understand that these people are not
afraid of being with someone or marriage and relationships as such. These
people simply know (either consciously or subconsciously) that obligations,
expectations and conditions are no good for their souls. It is this current “popular”
form of relationships and marriage that simply does not ring true with them,
because it is their intention to be who they really are without denying,
forgetting and suppressing themselves.
I may not have understood this in the past, but
it is getting clearer. And this makes me see why we in our past “form” could
not have been. I may have felt hurt, but I also do now understand that
everything about my life lies in my very own hands. I am the creator of my own
happiness. It is up to me whether I feel good about something our not. This fills my
heart with joy.
Do I love you? Yes, I do! Purely and
unconditionally. Do I want to be with you? Yes, I wish so and even more so. But I understand why we are where we are. Well, and hey...
We have forever!
